What Submission Means To Me

This was an assignment that I supposed to complete for my AMP class on Sunday, but I decided that since I also need to write a blog post for today, I would post it here as well.

When I started in the BDSM lifestyle, I struggled being submissive. Many Dominants called me hard-headed, stubborn, impatient, and some even called me worthless. Many years have passed since then, and I’ve grown quite a bit in the lifestyle. I now have a deeper understanding of what it means to be submissive, and why being submissive gives me meaning to my life.

Submission to me, means being able to trust someone completely. It’s the ultimate sense of security. I feel safe with my Mistress, and proud in my ownership to her. When she tells people that I am “her submissive” or “she’s owned by me” I am flooded with a sense of peace and contentment. Like many people, my day-to-day life is busy and can often get frustrating and stressful. My Mistress knows when I’m reaching that breaking point, and will pull me into her arms and hold me close.

It’s at that point, that all my stress washes away. No matter how bad things seem to me, her gentle touch, can make it all go away. And I am left with utter securit and happiness. I feel at home, like there isn’t any other place in the world I’d rather be, because everything I need is provided for.

My Mistress and I live together in RL and have been engaged for 1 year now. So for me, being submissive is pretty much like being married in the sense that it is a commitment. Our relationship is based on honesty, trust, communication. What we say to each other. We have committed to continually build trust with each other while opening ourselves up in some of the most vulnerable areas of our lives and keeping each other together through continual communication. We’re committed  to working together through everything, and to not throw in the towel because things get difficult.

Being submissive means that I am cared for and respected, it means that I am loved, it creates in me a sense of security and contentment like no other. It allows me to journey into this lifestyle knowing I am safe. It allows me to face some of the scariest things I have in my closet because it allows me to open my body and mind to the deepest vulnerabilities. It allows me to trust, even blindly. It allows me to trust that together we will tear each other down, and will work to build each other back up. It means we are committed to us – to communicating and trusting through honesty. It means we say all the hard things, and we discuss all the scary things together. It means I’m safe, and that I have a purpose in life.

Discipline Post: Why Sleep is Important

For the last 5 days, I have been deliberately disobeying one very specific rule that Mistress made for me. That rule is 

"I am to be in bed no later than 2:00 AM during weekdays. On weekends, I may go to bed at 4:00 AM unless otherwise directed by Mistress. Special circumstances will be dealt with on an as-needed basis."

Lately, I have been going to bed at 7:00 AM, and sleeping until 5:00 PM everyday and as a result, I haven't been able to do my daily chores (which has left the house in disarray), nor have I been able to follow the schedule that Mistress made for me. 

As punishment for not following this rule, I was instructed to write why sleep is important and why it is important to go to bed when Mistress has instructed me to do so for my daily blog post, and tonight Mistress will be shutting off my internet at 1:00 AM so I can be ready for bed by 2:00 AM. 

Why Sleep Is Important

Sleep plays a vital role in good health and well-being. Getting enough quality sleep, can help protect your mental health, physical health, quality of life, and safety.

The way you feel while you're awake depends in part on what happens while you're sleeping. During sleep, your body is working to support healthy brain function and maintain your physical health. 

The damage from sleep deficiency can occur in an instant (such as a car crash), or it can harm you over time. For example, ongoing sleep deficiency can raise your risk for some chronic health problems. It can also affect how well you think, react, work, learn, and get along with others.

Sleep helps your brain work properly, while you're sleeping, your brain is preparing for the next day. It's forming new pathways to help you learn, and remember information. Studies  show that a good night's sleep improves learning as well, whether you're learning math, how to play the piano, or how to perfect your golf swing,  sleep helps enhance your learning and problem-solving skills. Sleep also helps you pay attention, make devisions, and be creative.

Studies have shown that sleep deficiency alters activity in some parts of the brain. If you're sleep deficient, you may have trouble making decisions, solving problems, controlling your emotions, and behavior, and coping with change. Sleep deficiency also has been linked to depression, suicide, and risk-taking behavior.

Sleep plays an important role in physical health as well. Sleep is involved in healing and repairing of your heart and blood vessels. Ongoing sleep deficiency has been linked to an increased risk of heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and stroke. 

Sleep also helps maintain a healthy balance of the hormones that makes you feel hungry, or full. When you do not get enough sleep, your level of hunger goes up and your level of feeling full goes down, this makes you feel hungrier than when you're well rested.

Sleep also affects how your body reacts to insulin, the hormone that controls your glucose levels. Sleep deficiency results in a higher than normal blood sugar level, which may increase your risk for diabetes.

Sleep also supports healthy growth and development. Deep Sleep releases the hormones that boosts muscle mass and helps repair cells and  tissues in children, teens, and adults.

Your immune system relies on sleep to stay healthy as well. This system defends your body against foreign or harmful substances. Ongoing sleep deficiency can change the way in which your immune system responds.

Getting enough quality sleep at the right times will help you function well throughout the day as well. People who are sleep deficient are less productive at work and school. They take longer to finish tasks, have a slower reaction time, and make more mistakes.

After several nights of loosing sleep -- even a loss of just 1-2 hours per night -- your ability to function suffers as if you haven't slept at all for a day or two.

Sleep deficiency is not only harmful on a personal level but it can also cause large-scale damage. For example, sleep deficiency has played a role in human errors linked to tragic accidents, such as nuclear reactor meltdowns, grounding of large ships, and aviation accidents.

Why it is important to go to bed when instructed

As stated above (numerous times in fact) sleep is necessary, and beneficial to everyday functioning. When I go to bed too late, it means that I will not be able to awaken on-time to complete my daily schedule which was designed to give me structure and to help maintain the household efficiently when Marie (Mistress's grandmother) is at work during the day. 

When I do not complete my chores, the household becomes a mess and then Mistress must clean instead of me. My job as her submissive is to make her life easier and more manageable, and I haven't been doing that lately because I haven't been going to bed when instructed.

I now understand the importance sleep has on my overall health and wellbeing, in addition to how how getting adequate sleep can affect the household as well.